What Should I Wear to a Boudoir Session?
This is hands down the most common question I get: “What should I wear to my Vancouver Boudoir photoshoot?”
And I get why people ask. There’s this whole industry built around boudoir lingerie, what you’re “supposed” to wear, what colors photograph best, what styles are most flattering. Pinterest boards full of elaborate lingerie sets. Instagram ads for expensive pieces you’ll wear once.
Here’s what I actually want you to know: you don’t need any of that, and this is yet another reason I don’t call myself a “boudoir photographer”, because here we are not conforming or performing, we are connecting and rejecting toxic beauty standards.
Let me explain.
What You Can Expect
In this post, I’m breaking down what to actually wear (or not wear) for your intimate portrait session. We’ll talk about why less is more, how sensuality has nothing to do with what you’re wearing, why gender norms around “sexy” are bullshit, and what actually photographs well. Spoiler: it’s simpler than you think.
Honestly I am sure a lot of people wouldn’t even categorize my work as boudoir, and I am ok with that. I am happy to be on the fringes making art that has its own flair rather than following what everyone else is doing, but I’ll let you decide if what I am laying out works for you and your vision.
TL;DR
You don’t need elaborate lingerie for your Vancouver boudoir session, at least not when you work with me. My approach is inspired by fine art and photography masters Man Ray, Matisse, Klimt, Peter Lindbergh, Herb Ritts, Imogen Cunningham, which means we’re creating work for an art gallery, not a glamour magazine.
Keep it simple and minimalist so the focus stays on you and the photos are forever timeless.
My key big takeaways if you don’t make it to the end are:
• Sensuality is about energy, not clothing
• Gender norms don’t apply here
• We don’t need to bow down to boudoir clichés, this is artistic and poetic
The goal? Wear what makes you feel like sensual and you get to define that for you. Period.
The Lingerie Myth We Need to Bust
Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth: you don’t need lingerie at all, and honestly this is why the term ‘boudoir’ really gets to me, as it feels so prescriptive, no thanks!
Many of the most powerful intimate portraits I’ve created feature people in regular clothes. Or no clothes at all. Or that one shirt they’ve had for ten years that just feels right.
The lingerie industry would love for you to believe that sensuality requires specific garments, the lace, the straps, the matching sets, the whole production. But sensuality isn’t about what you’re wearing.
It’s about energy. It’s about how you move, how you hold yourself, how present you are in your body.
I’ve photographed people in $300 lingerie sets who felt uncomfortable and constrained. And I’ve photographed people in a basic black tank top who absolutely radiated.
The difference wasn’t the clothing. It was everything else. So before we even talk about what to wear, I need you to release the pressure around needing “the right” pieces.
You probably already own most of what you need.
Art Gallery, Not Glamour Magazine
Here’s something that sets my approach apart: my intimate portraits are inspired by fine art, poetry, and the range of human emotions that we all embody.
I’ve studied the works of artists and photographers whose work has moved me, and the biggest thing I noticed from all of them was that weren’t trying to sell you something.
They were exploring the body as art, as form, as expression. That’s what I’m doing too.
This approach means we don’t need to bow down to boudoir clichés. The typical props, the predictable poses, the “glamour photography” aesthetic. None of that serves the kind of artistic,
poetic images I’m creating. We’re making work that could hang in a gallery, not trying to replicate what you’ve seen in a magazine ad.
When you understand that context, the wardrobe conversation shifts completely. We’re not dressing you for a glamour shoot. We’re thinking about line, form, negative space, texture.
There are the same considerations a painter or sculptor would have. Your body becomes the subject of fine art, and everything else is simply in service of that.
The Minimalist Approach: Less Really Is More
Here’s my philosophy on wardrobe for intimate portraits: keep it simple.
When there’s too much going on, elaborate details, busy patterns, excessive embellishments—the focus shifts away from you. And you are the art here. Everything else is just context.
A minimalist aesthetic means:
- Clean lines Simple silhouettes
- Solid colors (black, white, nude tones)
- Minimal distractions
- Focus your energy, and your connection to your body
Think about it: when you look at iconic portraits what do you see people wearing? Usually it’s something simple and timeless.
What Actually Works: A Non-Exhaustive List
Okay, so if you don’t need elaborate lingerie, what do you wear? Oh and for the record if lingerie is your thing I am not here to say you can’t wear it, I just want people to know there so much more out there that you can also consider wearing, Here are some of my favorite options that photograph beautifully:
The Basics (That Are Anything But Basic)
- A simple black bodysuit
- White or black cropped top with your favorite bottoms whatever that is for you
- A well-fitted tank top
- High-waisted underwear with literally anything on top (or nothing)
- A simple black bra goes a long way too!
Playing with Texture
Texture is huge in creating visual interest without relying on complicated pieces. Think:
- Sheer fabrics that create movement and layers
- Knit sweaters that photograph beautifully
- Silk or satin that catches light differently
- Cotton that feels soft and organic
- Lace (used sparingly as an accent)
Structure and Lines
Some of my favorite images come from pieces with interesting structural elements:
- Low backs that create beautiful negative space
- Off-the-shoulder anything
- High necklines that feel elegant, I love me a merino wool black turtle neck
- Asymmetrical cuts
- Clean-lined bodysuits or bralettes
The “Not Lingerie At All” Category
Remember: sensuality isn’t gendered, and it doesn’t require traditional “sexy” clothing. Some of my favorite sessions include:
- Jeans (yes, just jeans)
- Tailored pants Skirts of any length
- Oversized sweaters
- Undershirts and tank tops
- Literally whatever makes you feel good
- Suspenders, simple black tie, undone bow ties
We don’t need to conform to gender norms around what’s considered sensual. If you feel amazing in a suit vest and nothing else, let’s do it. If you want to wear a flowy dress, perfect.
If you’re most comfortable in boxer briefs and a tank top that totally works!
The Vancouver boudoir photography you’ve seen online doesn’t represent the full range of what’s possible. Or what’s powerful.
Sheer + fabrics with movement
Let’s talk about sheer fabrics for a second because they’re incredible for intimate portraits. Sheer pieces create this beautiful layering effect. You can see the body beneath, but there’s still something between you and the camera. It’s revealing and concealing at the same time, which creates visual tension in the best way.
Fabrics with movement, think of anything that moves as you move. These types of fabrics can add a dynamic element to the overall aesthetic to your portraits.
You’re not just posed; you’re in motion. And that aliveness translates through the camera.
And here’s the thing I want you to hear: sheer doesn’t have to mean delicate or traditionally feminine. A sheer black shirt can read edgy. A mesh top can feel badass.
It’s all in how you wear it and what you pair it with.
The Structure Contradiction (And Why Both Work)
I know I just talked about movement and flow, but let me contradict myself: structured pieces with strong lines are also amazing.
Why?
Because they create geometry. They frame your body in interesting ways.
They add compositional elements that make the images more dynamic.
Think about:
- A well-tailored blazer or even a full suit
- Anything with an architectural quality
- Trench coats
- Leather jackets
- Pieces that create strong shadows and lines
The key is that these pieces still keep the focus on you. They’re not busy or distracting, they’re intentional choices that add to the overall composition without overwhelming it.
Both approaches work. Sometimes we’ll use flowy, romantic pieces. Sometimes we’ll go structural and geometric and sometimes we will mix them together.
Shoes are optional
Do you need shoes? Absolutely not. Especially if you love my cool, relaxed confidence vibe, then shoes are absolutely not needed.
Do shoes sometimes add something special to the images? They sure can!
Here’s my take: if you love shoes, bring them. If you don’t think about footwear, don’t stress about it.
I will say boots like Doc Martens can really look incredible with the right styling, same with sneakers, but I am biased as I love sneakers as much as I love bare feet.
The Gender Norms Conversation
Let me be explicit about this: there are no rules about what’s “appropriate” for your gender when it comes to intimate portraits.
Traditional boudoir photography has been pretty rigid about this, women in lingerie, men in… well, men were rarely even included in the conversation, and non-binary folks were completely left out of this conversation. Sensuality isn’t gendered. Bodies aren’t gendered in the way we’ve been taught. And clothing certainly doesn’t need to conform to outdated ideas about what’s “masculine” or “feminine.”
Some of my favorite sessions completely blur or ignore these lines:
Some of my favorite sessions completely blur or ignore these lines:
- People of all genders in traditionally “feminine” lingerie
- People of all genders in boxers and tank tops
- Mixing traditionally masculine and feminine pieces
- Rejecting the binary entirely and just wearing what feels righ
If you’re non-binary, gender non-conforming, or just don’t vibe with traditional gender presentation, this space is for you exactly as you are. Wear what makes you feel powerful, comfortable, and still simple to that the focus is on you, while I love fashion photography this is a portrait session and we don’t want you lost in the frame. That’s the only criterion.
What About Colors and Patterns?
Quick note on this: I lean heavily toward solid colors, especially black, white, and neutral tones.
Why? Because they’re timeless. They don’t date your photos. They don’t distract from you. They photograph beautifully in black and white (which is how I edit a lot of my work).
Does that mean you can’t wear color?
Heck No! These are YOUR PHOTOS you get to do what you want to do!
If there’s a specific color that makes you feel amazing, a deep red, a rich emerald, whatever, bring it.
Patterns can also be tricky but again if they are your jam then who am I to tell you to avoid them? I will be honest and say for my personal style as a photographer I to tend to tell people to avoid busy patterns mostly because I like centering you, not your clothing (though I know clothing is a big part of our identity).If you love patterns then my biggest tip here is to go for graphic elements, clean stripes, maybe, or a subtle texture. But honestly? Solids are your friend here.
Practical Tips for Choosing Your Photoshoot Wardrobe
Alright, here are some actual practical considerations:
Bring Options Even if you think you know what you want to wear, bring a few choices. Sometimes something looks different on camera, or feels different once you’re in the space. Having options takes the pressure off.
Prioritize Comfort If something is uncomfortable, digging in, riding up, making you self-conscious and trust me it will show in the images. Wear things that allow you to move and breathe and be present.
Think About Removal Consider how easy pieces are to take on and off, and how different stages of undress might look. Sometimes the in-between moments, that shirt half-unbuttoned, strap falling off the shoulder, create the most interesting images.
Don’t Buy a Whole New Wardrobe Seriously. Shop your own closet first. You’d be amazed what we can work with. That one piece you already love and feel good in? That’s probably the winner.
When In Doubt, Black Black photographs beautifully. It’s flattering on everyone. It creates strong contrast. It’s timeless. If you’re stressed about what to wear, start with simple black pieces and build from there.
What About Plus Size Boudoir Considerations?
Every body is different, and what works for one person might not work for another regardless of size.
That said, here’s what I want plus size clients to know: all the same principles apply.
Minimalist approach, focus on you, wear what makes you feel good. Don’t let anyone tell you that you need “special” pieces or should avoid certain styles.
Your body is art. The clothing is just the frame. And sometimes the frame is minimal or non-existent, and that’s perfect.
The Bottom Line: There Are No Rules
Here’s what I want you to take away from this: there are no rules.
Ok ok, you may think my main rule is simplicity, but that is not a rule but more so a guide to help you when thinking about what to wear as there is no need to complicate things.
You don’t need lingerie. You don’t need to spend money on new pieces. You don’t need to conform to anyone’s idea of what’s “appropriate” or “sexy” or “boudoir-worthy.”
We’re creating work for an art gallery, not a glamour magazine. And that means we don’t bow down to boudoir clichés.
In summary here’s what you need to remember:
• Wear what makes you feel like you
• What allows you to be present in your body
• Keep it simple and minimalist, solid colors (especially black and white), clean lines, interesting textures
• Consider sheer fabrics with movement or structured pieces with strong lines
• Break whatever gender norms don’t serve you
• Shoes are optional
• Remember that sensuality is about energy and presence, not fabric or expense
• Shop your own closet before buying anything new
• Bring options to your session
• Prioritize comfort
• And above all: you are the art. Everything else is just context
A little secret
I actually do not like the term “boudoir” because it feels so prescriptive and that is NOT what I am about at all. I wrote another blog post on this which you can check out HERE.
I am an artist, I want to make art of you, for you and the way I do it is not a paint by numbers, but a creative exploration of self. If that sounds like what you are looking for then let’s chat!
Thanks for Reading!
Hi, I’m Michele Mateus, award-winning photographer based in Vancouver, BC creating bold, evocative, portraits with an editorial flair for people who want anything but ordinary.
If something here hit the right note, let’s talk!
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