“I saw myself as artwork.” ~sara.

Meet Sara, a 42 year old mother, yoga and nature lover, and Lobular breast cancer survivor.

This is her story.

Sara can you please introduce yourself?

I am 42 years old and a solo mother to a 16-year-old. My passions are yoga, fitness and nature. I’m an avid hiker and find that I’m the most at peace when I’m in the backcountry. I enjoy tapping into my creative self through painting and my love of houseplants (I never have enough plants).

YOU’VE SHARED WITH ME THAT YOU ARE A CANCER SURVIVOR, CAN YOU SHARE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE?

I was diagnosed with stage 3 invasive lobular hormone positive breast cancer in April of 2021. This means that the cancer had spread to my auxiliary lymph nodes (in my arm pit), but scans showed that it hadn’t spread any further. Lobular breast cancer is the second most common breast cancer, representing only 5% – 15% of all invasive breast cancers.

Do you my age and staging, I was thrown into an aggressive treatment plan two weeks after my diagnosis, starting with one of the strongest forms of chemotherapy called Doxorubicin. This chemo drug is nicknamed the “red devil” because it’s a dark red color and has to be injected manually through your IV by a chemotherapy nurse and because the side effects can be crippling.

Following 4 bi-weekly dense doses of Doxorubicin, I completed 4 dense doses of another chemotherapy drug, I had a bilateral mastectomy, 25 rounds of radiation therapy and reconstructive surgery with implants. I have also been on medication to deplete my body of estrogen, putting me into medically induced menopause at the age of 39.

A tradition at most cancer centers is for patients to ring the bell to celebrate the end of treatment and I did this after I completed chemo and again after I completed radiation therapy. The bell at my cancer center is located on a different floor than the chemotherapy ward to respect the patients who will be in treatment indefinitely due to a stage 4 diagnosis. 30% of early stage breast cancers will return as a stage 4 diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis can feel quite isolating and that feeling never leaves you after active treatment is over. Survivorship comes with physical and mental hurdles that never leave.

I’m constantly adapting to my “new normal” and working through the trauma of the diagnosis, treatment and the grief of being given a life that looks completely different than what I imagined my life would be. The harsh reality that every cancer survivor faces is that we are all one scan, one phone call away from a stage 4 terminal diagnosis and the biggest challenge is finding the balance of fear and joy. This is a daily practice. 

What made you want do do this photoshoot? 

I wanted to do this photoshoot to see myself and my body from a different perspective than my own. Treatment, surgery and medically induced menopause have put my body through so many changes that are constantly challenging me to learn to love my body and it’s scars that are a constant reminder of what it’s been through and survived.

Why do you think it’s important for folks to step in front of the camera when moving through big life experiences like you have? 

I believe that seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes (or lense) can help to heal parts of you that you may be avoiding in the mirror. After my bilateral mastectomy, it took a very long time to become comfortable looking at myself in the mirror. In our patriarchal society, women are so conditioned to hate our bodies and we are generally never truly at peace with our physical selves. When someone goes through a life-altering experience that also drastically changes their physical appearance, it can be therapeutic and empowering to see the beauty in these changes.

How would you describe your experience working with me in my studio?

Working with you in your studio was super relaxed and comfortable. I loved how things felt natural and not “forced” or awkward. And I felt as if I could be authentic and open with you because you are also authentic. 

How did you feel when you first saw your photos? 

When I saw the photos, I felt like they brought out the beauty of my scars in a way that is raw and real. I saw myself as artwork.

I have done a few photoshoots over the years, but this one was different than the others because it didn’t feel ridged and structured like they can feel. I really enjoyed feeling free to move and do what felt more natural. 

Can you tell us about your radiation tattoos?

When you prepare for radiation therapy, part of the “mapping” process is to mark the entry spots for the radiation so that each time you come for your daily appointment, the radiation nurses can line you up in the machine correctly, based on the area being treated. Correct positioning is crucial to avoid any possible damage to your heart and lungs. To mark these spots, you get permanent “tattoo” dots with a pin and ink. Yes, like the “stick and poke” you may have tried as a kid with ink from a pen. It wasn’t pleasant and felt pretty barbaric. I have three radiation dots.

*PS: see if you can spot Sara’s Fuck Cancer tattoo!

What would you say to someone going considering doing something like this

I would say just dive in and do it! It can be daunting to make yourself vulnerable, but you’ll definitely be happy that you did. 

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE?

If you know someone who is facing a cancer diagnosis, please check in regularly during and after treatment. Even though they might look “normal” again, it’s never really over for them and just knowing that they have your support can make a big difference in their mental health.

SO MUCH LOVE & GRATITUDE FOR YOU SARA

As some of you may know I lost my mother to Breast Cancer, and having the opportunity to share the story of others who have experienced Cancer feels like such a beautiful way to not only honour the person in front of my lens but also my mother. It’s moving for me as an artist to co-create with others, having them trust me with their stories, being so open and vulnerable with me. So thank you Sara, for being my Muse, for sharing your story not only with me but for others to read, learn and be inspired by. We have nothing if we have no hope, so thank you for filling us with that today.

Inspired by Sara’s story and photos and would like to do this for yourself, then please reach out! I am here to hold space for you and show you that you are art at any stage of life.

PS: GET YOUR BODY CHECKED!

Friends I can’t stress this enough, GET YOUR BODY CHECKED! If you feel something wrong in your body, don’t wait. GO GET IT CHECKED.